child birth videos - some recommended ones

Over the years I have accumulated a list of some Childbirth videos worth watching.
Here are just some of them :

Natural Childbirth of Twins and Triplets



"Birth As we Know It"
This is just a brilliant movie by Elena Tonetti and the trailer captures the spirit of the movie beautifully. Inspiring and moving!



Here's a lovely video of a home water birth at 42 weeks (2 weeks past the due date)



Ok, now EVERYONE needs to know about this : Orgasmic Birth



This is so cool... 3-D animation of vaginal birth



And of course, my own birth video :
Homebirth here in Vancouver, Canada :>



Let me know what you think, and if you have any birth videos to recommend.
Have a lovely day!

Question about water birth and other pain coping methods

Question
Does a water birth really reduce the pain?
Natural birth seems like the right option for me. What are some ways to reduce the pain?

Also, when I get my period I have the most horrendous cramps in the world. Would that mean that labour would be pretty bad?


Answer
There are really so many ways to reduce pain in labor. What works for some women may not work for others. Every woman has a different background of experiences, and every labor experience is different. It would be helpful for you to talk with someone experienced about all your preferences, current coping strategies, fears, knowledge base etc.

Having a doula (professional labor support) to discuss things with before labor and to be with you in labor is very helpful. Several studies have shown that doulas reduce the need for epidurals, cesareans, and other interventions.

Another important factor is the doctor or midwife that you choose. Find out how they practice. If you have a doctor who practices with a high rate of interventions - cesareans, epidurals, inductions, etc, you may as well give up your hope for a natural birth.
Medical interventions are necessary and helpful in certain situations, but many practitioners overuse them.
If you choose a caregiver or a hospital that routinely restricts women to lying in bed, using continuous fetal monitoring, or inductions for no medical reason other than being past 40 weeks, then labor is going to be extremely painful. Lying back is the most painful position in labor, and induced labors are way more painful than natural labors.

Also, fear and the adrenalin that it produces increases the sensation of pain greatly. Feeling safe, cared for and supported helps women relax. Having caregivers they trust, and trusting that their bodies know how to give birth. Going within themselves and listening to their bodies is really helful for natural birth. When women in labor feel safe, they produce endorphin hormones. If you've ever run a marathon or something, you'll know that initially your muscles will hurt, but after a while the endorphins kick in and you start to feel euphoric. You don't notice the pain so much, you just feel great.
In labor that can happen too, and the baby gets all the moms hormones, so it feels it too.

Have you noticed how some women say the pain of labor was the worst experience of their lives, while some women say labor was the best experience of their lives.
This difference is due to the different hormones.
Fear, anxiety = adrenalin = slowing down labor and severe pain.
Safety, trust, support, love = oxytocin and endorphins = less pain and feeling great.

Once you've got the basics, you can try out some things women have found useful for dealing with the intensity of labor - moving, changing positions, upright positions, resting in side lying positions or kneeling forward over a chair or exercise ball or their partner, hot packs, ice packs, showers, warm baths, massage, counter pressure on the back and hips, moaning, swaying, making deep sounds, kissing, breathing, visualization, swearing :> , squeezing their partners hand till it turns blue :> ...

Attitude is important too -
The tendency is that when a contraction is starting, to tense up and
resist and think, "oh no, another one. shit!"
But tensing up makes the sensation of pain greater.
It's useful to think, "oh good, another one. That's one more contraction closer to having my baby in my arms. My body is doing great work." Then after the contraction take a deep breath and release all the tension in your body.

A lot of women have found laboring in warm water extremely useful in helping them relax into their bodies and re-energise when tired. The buoyancy helps them change positions easily too. It can help make it easier to move through labor in the water. On the other hand, if has a lot of anxiety, fear, or other issues, getting into water won't make a difference in and of itself. I hope that makes sense :>

As for your period cramps, I don't think that means a more painful labor. I think it means you've developed a bunch of coping strategies that can help you in labor.

Let me know if you have any more questions,

Kaurina JeerisRajan
Childbirth Central
childbirthcentral@gmail.com

Reply:


I greatly appreciate your response. I feel so much more relaxed after I had read your post and most of the information in regards to stress/pain relief I could relate to. Like taking a shower greatly relieves stress and pain for me.

There was not a thing that you had said that I didn't find useful.

Thank you again!

Question about tearing in labor

Question
I have a 10 month old and I'm 8 months pregnant but I'm scared of giving birth again.?
I know I have been through it before but I'm scared to go back through it again. The 1st birth I suffered a 3rd degree tear and lost quite a bit of blood. I'm not really sure why I'm scared to be honest I think it because with it be quite close to my 1st one. Has any one been in the same situtation or some advice would be great, thanx x

Answer:

I'm sorry you had such a traumatizing experience the last time around.
It's understandable that you feel scared now.

I'm a doula (labor supporter) and natural birth educator, and I've had clients who have been terrified for their second birth because of the way their first birth was managed or the way they were treated. I've helped them to be more proactive in the decision making process for their next birth so that they could have a positive experience the second time.

Some questions I would ask you are,
1. What was the worst / most scary parts of your last birth?
2. What are you worried will happen this time?
3. Did you feel supported enough and treated well during the last birth?
4. What would you want to do differently if you could do it over?
5. How could you have done things differently to create an outcome more like what you want?
6. What steps can you take now for this birth?

I can imagine having such a serious tear must have made healing painful and long and interfered with your ability to look after your baby.
Do you know what caused the third degree tear?
Tears do happen sometimes no matter how gentle the birth is, but third and fourth degree tears tend to occur because of some added stress to the perineum.
For example, when women are told to push extremely hard, or have an epidural which can make them unable to feel the urge to push, and so end up pushing really hard but not as effectively. Or an episiotomy could cause the tear to extend into a 3rd degree. Also, forceps or vacuum can also cause severe tears.

These may be avoidable, especially if you know that you have choices.

Are you with the same caregiver now as the last time? How do you feel about your caregiver? Have you discussed your feelings with them and what you can do differently? Do you feel that they are respectful of your needs ?

Have you considered hiring a doula in your area to give you more information, and provide physical and emotional support?

There is a lot to consider and work through. If you do want to discuss more, you can email me.
childbirthcentral@gmail.com

Question about managing small children and staying sane

Q.: For those of you who ARE or WERE stay at home moms?
I myself am a stay at home mom and I am having some trouble with my little ones. I have twins who are 2 1/2 and a 15 month old as well.
I have never dealt or been around children before having my own. Lately they have been so difficult, and so stressing (mainly the youngest) I feel I don't have enough time to teach them the things they need to know. We don't leave the house often, because its a huge chore. I know they need more socialization, more teaching, more playtime. Everything. I feel like I try soo hard and not alot comes out of it by the end of the day. I am stressed beyond belief trying to keep the house clean, look nice by the time my man comes home and make sure all of the kids needs are met.

My husband is getting in trouble at work because I keep calling him home, and he can't lose his job. I feel guilty that I can't do this alone. I feel like it's time to go back to school and then get a job, but honestly I'm scared. I feel extremely guilty right now, feeling like everything is my fault.

Can anyone give me some advice from the heart. I am very confused, and I just want to do right by my children. Please help.

Answer:

Omigod!
Most mums with one toddler can TOTALLY relate!!! But what I find surprising is that you have THREE toddlers, and you're still wondering why you can't get everything done and you're so stressed out! :>

There's a reason why they say it takes a village to raise a child.
You do need more social support.
Please don't feel guilty. No one in your situation can do it all. It's pretty much impossible.

Don't worry about their socialization, or play or education at this point. No. 1 -they're really young. All that stuff will sort itself out over time. and no. 2 - focus on the basics first.

There is so much social pressure to do so much for kids these days, but less real help in actually doing them.
People who manage well with their kids generally have family or a close community who share in taking care of the kids. Parents, parents-in-law, sisters, aunts, friends, other mums etc.

People who live far away from their families, and don't have close friends nearby, do have to find other resources in order to stay sane.
Connect with other mums, mum's groups, organisations that provide support to parents, get a babysitter etc etc. Let everyone know that you need some help with childcare or housekeeping while your kids are so young.

I cannot stress this enough - the most important person to take care of is YOU. A sane and supported mum will automatically be able to take care of her family well.
It is a myth that a mum and a dad can sufficiently be perfect parents to their kids, especially times 3 little kids. People are so quick to blame parents, and so slow to help.

But you do need to ASK for help, and expect it. Don't feel guilty for receiving it, because you really do need it right now, and when you're kids are older, you will be able to help other mums with young kids.

This period of time when they are so little and their needs are so great is really intense. Things will get easier as they get older, I promise you.
it will be easier a year from now, even more easy 2 years from now and so on.
Wait till then till you start trying to add more activities into their lives.

For now, you can set very low expectations. If your kids are fed and you are fed and have slept enough, and you haven't gone totally berserk all day (a little bit berserk is ok), then you can consider that a successful day.
If you manage to do a little tidying up, or take the kids out or whatever, then that's a bonus! Give yourself a big treat for managing that.

There was a time when my kids were young and I thought I had to be doing all sorts of amazing things with them, and be a happy mum who never lost her temper, and have a beautifully kept house, and cook delicious yet healthy meals....
Meanwhile, I didn't have time to even breathe, I was grumpy and guilty and wound up all the time, fighting with my husband etc etc.
I thought it was just I who was incompetent.

Eventually, I found out that most mums felt the same way, especially those without social a social network where they lived.

Now, my priorities are
1. Do several things throughout the day to feel relaxed and content. eg. Get enough sleep. Sit for a few minutes without the kids and have a drink or something. Tell your kids you are having some "mummy alone time". They'll eventually get used to it. Destress in the bath. Set aside some telephone or email time for yourself to talk to your friends and complain. :> Join a gym that has childcare. Get some adult time.

2. Spending time with your husband minus the kids is important.
Try to get a babysitter (or two), leave the mess in the house and go have some fun. Aim to do that once a week. More realistically, if you manage once a month, that's great! Appreciate yourselves and each other for the amazing job you are doing of raising 3 human beings.

3. Find a system of discipline that works for you and your kids. Well-behaved kids are easier to look after. You do not need to entertain your kids. The good thing about having three is that they will entertain themselves if left to their own devices. Especially as they get older.

4. As for the house, focus on the most important things and ignore everything else for the next couple of years. The kitchen is pretty important. Having clean laundry too.
Get big storage bins and throw everything in to get it out of sight - bins for unfolded laundry , toys, the mess in your living room when people are coming over etc etc.
Declutter and throw away or give away what you don't need or use.
Have a talk with your husband. Tell him how you feel about the housework. Let him know that you appreciate anything he does to help. If you can afford it, consider getting housecleaning services. Discuss lowering your standards of tidiness for the next one to two years.

Above all, whatever you do with your kids, it needs to work for you.
You and your husband need to be the centre of your family not your kids. Because if you're stressed out you can't take care of your kids as well as when you feel centred and in control.

Question about breastfeeding

Q. What is the normal duration for a woman to have breast milk?
How long does the milk usually last? How many months is the average/normal duration?


A. The milk will last until the child stops breastfeeding. The baby's sucking is what stimulates the mum to produce more breastmilk. The more baby breastfeeds, the more milk mum produces, for as long as the child goes on breastfeeding. There is no normal time for breastfeeding. Some mums don't breastfeed at all, some breastfeed a few weeks, a few months, or a few years. In some countries, mums breastfeed for many years. Children do need milk for the first few years of their lives, whether that is cow's milk, soy milk, or human milk. Breastfeeding past one year is usually not practised in today's culture, but it is possible and probably beneficial.